I did this, not because I was fishing for compliments or trying to make myself feel better. Au contraire, I did it because I wanted to know if the image I have about how I think people see me correlates with what I actually am like. I wasn’t expecting sunshine and roses. I was expecting the truth.
I know they won’t be completely honest – because let’s face it, we wouldn’t want people to know what we REALLY think of them. How many times have we heard people say, "I don’t care what other people think of me"? One too many. I agree, to a certain extent that it shouldn’t bother you, but it is important that we know how other people see us if we wish to successfully shape relationships and friendships.
First things first, we must realize that we are NOT the same. We are all cut from different cloths and in order for us to live in a civil world – we NEED to compromise. No one is going to fit into the mold we created for ourselves. No one will ever be what we want them to be. It’s a give and take and it is all about finding a balance. If you want to create and live a fulfilled life, no matter how much you think you can do it on your own, the essence of life is human connection.
THE ESSENCE OF LIFE IS HUMAN CONNECTION
I stress this point, because when everything else is removed – what remains are the connections we have. Let’s strive to always make these connections pleasant ones and create an aura around us which encourages people to want to connect with us.
Anyway, the feedback was that I have to open up more. This in turn equals to trusting more. Mmmm… this is going to be a tricky one. Trust is a big thing for me. It literally means giving someone a piece of you and expecting them to keep it safe. Paranoid? Maybe a little. But people are malicious like that. I have a thing with trust. I am no fan of disappointment. Flaw? Might very well be. I probably have to work on that. [Managing expectations and all that…:-)]
Another one was that I have to stop keeping people at arm’s length. I have the habit of closing myself off where nothing comes in and nothing goes out whenever I feel out of it. Sometimes it is just better to shut down and try to work through whatever is going on by yourself. Talking about it can only help you get it out of your system, but does it change the situation? Not at all. I imagine it like being stuck on a remote island. You can scream your lungs out, but will that help you get off the island? Not at all. At most, you will end up with a hoarse voice and a possible headache. But I probably have to work on that, too. [The essence of life is HUMAN CONNECTION, Shariva.]
"I sit before flowers
hoping they will train me in the art
of opening up
I stand on mountain tops believing
that avalanches will teach me to let go
I know nothing
but I am here to learn.”
ML,